1. sammytalklatintome:

    bpm999:

    majorvirgin:

    LOOK AT WHAT THEY FUCKING DID TO BOB THE BUILDER

    image

    I AM FUMNG WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 

    SMUG ASS STEPDAD LOOKING ASS LITTLE SHIT 

    image

    image

    (via till-the-end--of-the-line)

    9 hours ago  /  154,164 notes  /  Source: majorvirgin

  2. sherlock-is-the-fire-of-my-loins:

#I apologize about my moon and light, #the love of my life, #the man whom I’ve always been too afraid to define as mine. #I apologize about my blogger who has shown me how to love and desire… #my clean shaven doctor… my… #shit does that give too much away? #better just stick to ‘my thing.’

    sherlock-is-the-fire-of-my-loins:

    #I apologize about my moon and light, #the love of my life, #the man whom I’ve always been too afraid to define as mine. #I apologize about my blogger who has shown me how to love and desire… #my clean shaven doctor… my… #shit does that give too much away? #better just stick to ‘my thing.’

    (via yourdailydoseofjohnlock)

    9 hours ago  /  1,183 notes  /  Source: sherlock-is-the-fire-of-my-loins

  3. porrimscondomstash:

    When you fuck something up first thing in the morning

    image

    (via till-the-end--of-the-line)

    9 hours ago  /  222,396 notes  /  Source: porrimsspookycondomstash

  4. hoekage:

    the main thing i look forward to in life is raising dogs w/ someone i love

    (via sammywinchesster)

    9 hours ago  /  238,610 notes  /  Source: hoekage

  5. hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

    hermionemollycharliepond:

    just-raowolf:

    edenwolfie:

    my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

    We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

    First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

    A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

    This was a good start.

    We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

    Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

    Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

    You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

    He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

    Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

    He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

    We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

    He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

    But I’m not.

    Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

    We’re married!?

    Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

    He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

    We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

    Vegetarian.

    Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

    We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

    You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

    They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

    He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

    Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

    I want a divorce!

    And he walked out of the classroom.

    The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

    I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

    READ THE WHOLE THING

    (via deanassbutts)

    9 hours ago  /  347,972 notes  /  Source: edenwolfie

  6. phaserburn:

    My taste in music ranges from “you need to listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

    (via till-the-end--of-the-line)

    9 hours ago  /  875,972 notes  /  Source: phaserburn

  7. Multishipper Challange

    bisexuallydia:

    Send me a character and i’ll tell you at least two characters I ship them with

    (via wincest2spooky)

    9 hours ago  /  19,871 notes  /  Source: bisexuallydia

  8. durkin62:

We still haven’t even gotten past the 19th century yet around here. 

    durkin62:

    We still haven’t even gotten past the 19th century yet around here. 

    (via deanassbutts)

    9 hours ago  /  127,060 notes  /  Source: cartoonpolitics

  9. worb:

    Who is the target audience for Gogurt? Is it for children? I feel like the marketing is trying to make it look “cool” but I don’t know why. It’s cool to eat yogurt out of a tube. Cool kids don’t know how to use spoons? Spoons are for fucking losers. I’m on a public bus right now and I’ve never been in a relationship and I think about dropping out of college every day

    (via till-the-end--of-the-line)

    9 hours ago  /  31,798 notes  /  Source: worb

  10. danglingthpider:

    porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house

    (via americanhororstorys)

    9 hours ago  /  86,350 notes  /  Source: danglingthpider